Lisa cancelled surgery
Lisa* cancelled surgery as it proved impossible to arrange alternative care for her husband
Lisa cares for her husband who has mixed dementia – Alzheimer’s Disease and vascular dementia – as well as other significant health conditions.
I’m always thinking about what will happen if I’m unable to care. It’s a scary aspect of being a sole dementia carer. I often feel very angry, upset and frustrated.
Lisa has been caring for her husband for over seven years. The only time she has left him alone, is to walk the dog. She worries about what she might come back to. An overnight stay away is out of the question.
When Lisa experienced post-menopausal bleeding, she didn’t immediately contact her GP. She started to worry about what would happen to her husband if she needed treatment.
After seeing her GP and a specialist, Lisa was urgently referred for surgery. With no family members able to care for her husband, Lisa tried to organise some respite care.
Despite multiple attempts, it proved impossible to coordinate surgery dates and a respite bed in a care home.
In the end, Lisa asked to be removed from the treatment list. She has not had surgery.
Getting everything synchronised is impossible. It’s like pinning clouds to a wall. It’s very stressful for an already stressed person who can no longer think straight and is frightened.
You ask yourself is it worth the hassle? If the answer is ‘no’, then there is something very wrong with the system * Name changed to protect identity
What if…your story could make a difference?
If you are a dementia carer, you may have faced an unexpected situation when you were unable to care. Or you may be worried about the future. Can you share your story? You can help us ensure that dementia carers get the support they need to plan for when they’re not there to care.
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