What I wish you all knew…what we needed most was simple human contact
We seemed to become invisible
We’re sharing what carers want other people to understand about looking after someone with dementia. John, who cared for his wife, shares how what they both needed most was simple human contact…
As time went on after my wife’s diagnosis, we seemed to become invisible. Family, friends, and neighbours gradually stopped visiting or calling. It was as though they felt embarrassed, or perhaps believed that dementia was somehow contagious. John, dementia carer
At times, I wondered whether people avoided us because they thought I might ask them for help. In truth, I wasn’t looking for practical assistance. What my wife and I both needed most was simple human contact. Being disabled myself only made the isolation more difficult.
It was not the person with dementia who forgot people first; it was people who forgot them.
Friends and acquaintances stayed away, and as contact diminished, the person with dementia naturally began to lose touch with those absent faces.
We did eventually find a dementia singing group, this was really helpful. She knew all the words of the songs. She would get up and dance. Initially, I didn’t understand the usefulness of these groups but they became our main social life. My only regret was I didn’t know about them earlier, or was it the dementia label that put me off too?
Please don’t forget people living with dementia or those who care for them. They are still the same people you have always known. Reaching out, visiting, or simply making contact can make an enormous difference. Avoiding them helps neither them nor you.
What do you wish other people knew about caring for someone with dementia?
If you’d like to share your thoughts or experiences, do get in touch with us.
Whatever’s on your mind, we’re here to help
Our Carer Support Line is open Monday – Friday, 9am to 5pm. Call us on 0800 652 110
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What I wish you all knew…what we needed most was simple human contact
John, who cared for his wife, shares how what they both needed most was simple human contact.