Time to think about a care home?

Reaching a stage when you are thinking about moving someone with dementia into a care home can be an anxious and traumatic time. Perhaps this is your husband, wife, mother, father who, for many different reasons, is no longer able to live at home.

For the person with dementia, the decision to move into a care home isn’t one usually made by them. The decision usually falls to family, carers or those closest to them. The weight and range of emotions this carries is often unexpected and leaves carers feeling unprepared.

There are a number of reasons why you might be thinking about moving the person you care for into a care home.

It may be that the person with dementia has expressed a wish that at a certain stage of their illness, they would rather move to a care home. They may currently have capacity to express that wish or have left an advanced directive expressing this preference.

The health of the person you are caring for may be deteriorating. This may be because their dementia is progressing or because of another illness or a fall.

The person’s mobility may be becoming increasingly restricted.

The person’s cognitive ability may be declining and it may be becoming harder for them to remain safely in their own home.

There may come a time when you cannot provide the level of care that the person you are caring for needs.

Or you may have previously had support from another relative or neighbour and this is no longer the case.

The person with dementia may be showing signs of loneliness, isolation or depression.

For some people with dementia their home may become a distressing place for them. This may be due to delirium or them feeling disorientated.

Without an available or capable carer, there is often a point when there is no other alternative for a person with dementia than to be placed in a 24-hour care home.

There are many different emotions carers experience when weighing up the best interests of the person they are caring for and their own ability to cope.

Some carers may be contending with having the words “Never put me in a care home” echoing around their mind.

You may experience feelings of failure or guilt or indeed a huge sense of loss. These emotions can be overwhelming and make it harder to make a decision.

When considering the best option, it’s important to be honest about how well you are coping as a carer.

Family carers often keep going, because it feels as if there is no alternative.

Reaching the decision that you can no longer do this, can be a last resort. You may feel that you are reaching breaking point.

If you are feeling this way, you need to look after yourself. Deciding to move the person you are caring for into a care home, means that you are making sure that they are going to be looked after and safe.

There is an option to move the decision to a third party. A legal decision can be made via the Court of Protection.