Top tips for dementia carers at Christmas

Christmas is a time for traditions but imagine how it might feel if they can’t be remembered. People with dementia can become increasingly confused at Christmas. Schools, churches, and councils change their service provision to different days, times, and frequency. The rhythm of our days, and our normal visual and audible cues, temporarily disappear.

Furthermore, unusual things become acceptable. From trees inside the house to Christmas ornaments replacing family photographs. It’s the season when it’s acceptable to eat advent chocolate for breakfast and have a glass of mulled wine in the afternoon!

When rules change, people with dementia can feel agitated and frustrated. They may be unable to communicate their feelings, and as their carer, you may find this period more difficult than usual. Read on to discover our top tips for dementia carers at Christmas.

Dementia can affect a person’s spatial awareness. By keeping furniture in it’s usual place, people with dementia are more likely to safely move around without tripping or bumping into things. Keep high-traffic areas such as the kitchen, hallway, and stairs, decoration free zones. This will help to reduce any disorientation they may feel as they walk from one room to another. Having a quiet room or space in your home, that looks the same as it always has, will be welcoming to anyone who is feeling overwhelmed or over-stimulated. Having a safe space to retreat if things get a bit much, can benefit everyone.

Favourite films, music and carols can stimulate happy memories. If your loved one had a Christmas tradition take time to honour it together. This may be something from their childhood, or something you can also recall from your shared history. Simple acts such as lighting an advent candle or putting the tree lights on at a certain time of day, can bring a sense of familiarity. If you can, look back through photographs of Christmases past and note any stories that come up. This may help you to connect with your loved one in future years, if they become less able to communicate.

Over the festive period, you may see more friends and family than usual. Staggering their visits can be beneficial for you and the person with dementia. Can you arrange it so they sit with your loved one while you take a break? Perhaps they can do a jigsaw while you go for a walk. Could someone watch a film with them while you catch up with another friend? By arranging visits in advance and limiting the number of people visiting at any time, you and your loved one are less likely to feel overwhelmed. If the person with dementia uses a Memory Keeper, remember to enter who is visiting and at what time. This will help your loved one to know what to expect.

Can you lean on your family and friends to take some Christmas tasks off your shoulders? Instead of bringing presents, can visitors bring their favourite dish to reduce the amount of cooking? Think about what’s important for you this Christmas and whether, with a bit of delegation, there’s a way to make it happen.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Try to live in the moment this Christmas, free from expectation. Being present, letting go and adapting to whatever arises, can create space for authentic connection. No Christmas celebration is perfect. Social media has the power to connect us, but it can leave us wanting more and judging what we have. If you’re feeling down or frustrated, why not experiment and take a break from your phone and social media? How does your body and mind feel? What thoughts and ideas float to the surface? With space to think, can you find a way to spend meaningful time with your loved one that’s right for both of you?

Dementia Carers Count runs a Carer Support Line, Monday – Friday, 9 – 5 where dementia carers can talk through their problems and receive expert advice. We provide free counselling, benefits advice and practical support. While we’re closed on the bank holidays over Christmas (Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Year’s Day) we’re open as usual on all other week days.

Our friendly team of specialists can help you navigate a range of problems. No dementia carer should feel alone, so if you feel like you need to talk to someone, please do call our Carer Support Line for free on 0800 652 1102.

We’ll also be replying to emails during our opening times over Christmas, so get in touch if you are feeling in need of some support.

Our online help and information is always available. Find tips on managing challenging situations, behavioural changes and much more on our website. You can also register for our online support groups.

Maybe your New Year’s resolution could be to reach out to us and get emotional or practical support. We understand that dealing with dementia is hard, but we can help make it that little bit easier.