How to build resilience
By developing healthy habits, we can build our resilience and approach problems with a sense of strength and stability.
Resilience is the way we cope with stress and adversity in life. By learning new ways of thinking, behaving and interacting with others, we develop ways to cope even when life is tough. Dr Gemima Fitzgerald, Clinical Psychologist, Dementia Carers Count
What is resilience?
When we talk about resilience with carers, it means different things to different people.
Resilience is building the ability to make choices when under pressure.
Our primitive instincts are designed to protect us. They can take over and make decisions for us, but this isn’t always helpful. Resilience gives us the awareness to notice when this is happening and the ability to choose how to act rather than having a knee jerk reaction.
How can carers build their resilience?
Resilience is something we can all develop. There are a number of different ways we can build resilience. These include reflecting on our:
- Self-care
- Sense of self
- Relationships
- Development
- Sense of belonging
Let us explore what these may mean for you:
Self-care (caring for yourself)
Something you do just for you. It can be helpful to think about what recharges you and makes you feel refreshed or rested.
One way of thinking about this is using your five senses and what makes you smile and perhaps lifts you:
- What do you like to see or remember seeing? (the sky, old photos…)
- What do you enjoy hearing/listening to? (running water, music…)
- What do you like to feel or touch or pet? (stroking the cat, popping bubble wrap…)
- What tastes do you enjoy? (sweet tangerines, marmite…)
- What smells do you enjoy? (cut grass, fresh bread…)
Sense of self
It is important to know and remember who you were before you also became a carer. What are your likes and dislikes? What are your joys and passions? And then to find ways to connect with them.
Relationships
Having an interaction or attachment with a person, place, animal or item is very important. The immediate things we think of are pets, or a person who may be a big part of your life, but a phone can also be important as it is an integral way to interact with others and a source of engagement and entertainment.
Development
Learning and developing skills and knowledge going forward gives a sense of purpose. This may be taking a course, reading about a topic or learning from everyday experiences and talking to others.
Sense of belonging
Feeling part of something such as a network, club, organisation, like-minded people, group of friends or colleagues can give a sense of wellbeing. These can provide a connection through a mutual interest and/or experience.
How building resilience can help you cope with caring for someone with dementia
We encourage carers to think of small, free, easily accessible things they can do which will help them feel a little calmer and a little happier.
These seemingly small actions can help you move from the feelings of burnout. Even if this shift is temporary, it’s important to know what can alter your mood.
Here are some things which dementia carers have told us help them to cope.
Read Next
Staying healthy
Carers can neglect their own health and experience high levels of stress. Looking after your physical and your mental health is important and the two are linked.
Social and emotional connections
Social and emotional connections can have a range of benefits for our mental and physical health.
Stress and distress
As a person’s dementia increases, there are many factors that might increase the likelihood of them experiencing stress and showing distress. Understanding and tackling the causes of stress can help carers cope.
