How do I get a diagnosis?

[Paul Evans]

My husband has had memory problems for a long time but things have gotten much worse during covid and I am really struggling now. Family and friends have tried to talk with him about it but he just gets angry and irate and takes it out on me! Some friends have stopped visiting because of this and I feel very much alone. How can I get my husband a diagnosis of dementia? Is there anyway I can get help for him or me, just feel I can’t go on doing this much longer.

[Amanda Woodhead]

You should speak with your husband’s GP about your concerns, they should be able to offer you advice and local support. The GP may be able to refer to your local memory assessment service, and work out ways to engage your husband if he is not completely on board. http://www.alzheimers.org have good advice for carers on how to manage their loved one’s behaviour when it feels disruptive or unsettled. You could also contact your local social services for a carer’s assessment, which would identify the support you provide and signpost to services in your area which may be able to support you. All the best to you.

[Katy Evans]

Hello, thankyou for your post and for sharing with the forum. It is a challenging situation and one which understandably can cause a lot of tension between families and friends. It sounds as though your husband may be very frightened about speaking about his memory changes and is reacting with anger due to this. How have other carers in the forum found these initial steps? Any suggestions of what can help?

The GP would be the first point of contact, however, a person’s mental capacity for specific decisions (such as needing a referral to the Memory Team) needs to be determined. In this case, the GP would need to consider this before making any referrals. If your husband has capacity and declines the referral then this could not be taken further. If he lacks capacity then a best interests discussion would need to be considered. It may be beneficial to consider if you or your husband would benefit from an advocate to support you through that process?

As a carer. you would be entitled to an assessment in your own right. This is to talk about what support you may need in caring for someone. To access this you can contact your local authority who will ask some basic questions about the support you provide and how this impacts on you/you’re well-being. They can also signpost you to local carer services.

Covid has been an isolating time for everyone and particularly carers such as yourself. Dementia Carers Count is a charity aimed at supporting family carers and reducing isolation. We have a lot of information to support on our new Virtual Carers Centre and also through the Live Online Learning which cover a range of topics. In the near future, there will also be face-to-face courses available both Nationally and Regionally. Kind Regards, Katy

[Clare Newgass]

Hello. I’m a newbie here. Just starting our family journey with a diagnosis for my dad. Sorry to hear of your experience which sounds really tough. If it helps at all…our dad was starting to be aware of his memory going down a few years ago and took up some suggestions like giving up caffeine. We got him referred soon for a memory test (Early/Mild Cognitive Impairment) and we’ve finally recently got a follow-up one done. He wasn’t at all keen – very private/proud chap who def.wouldnn’t want to be seen as vulnerable or lacking capability – but we took the view & suggestion that ‘there might be treatment available’ eg to help/slow this down, and purely concentrating on memory changes – not mentioneing dementia etc. Of course the ‘D’ word could well be the fear for your husband. But all the learning I’m doing talks about picking up on changes early to be able to potentially make a difference, even before any significant cognitive declline, let alone a Dementia diagnosis. Areas will vary as to what they can offer beyond memory testing- the ideal is brain scans but… It has also helped for us to be very specific and gentle with our dad (who also has anger problems) about what he forgets, asking him questions etc. Keeping his trust feels so important, and he has only recently been able to acknowledge briefly with us that perhaps there are things that might have happened even though he can’t rememeber them. I’ve jsut foudn the excellent list of leaflets on the Dementia UK website and there’s one on ‘Understanding denial/ lack of Insight’. Good luck. Clare

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